So how then?

 Truthfully, I do still feel resentment towards the children's father, that I should probably let go of.

He told me that one of his colleagues had tested positive therefore he had to work today so it was a choice of me picking them up, bringing them home very early in the morning or keeping them longer. He didn't ask, but it was clear he was pushing for me to step in. And when I asked how long extra he'd have to keep them, he shifted into not actually being able to bring them back for the entire week.

I felt really manipulated and annoyed. I feel like we're divorced so I shouldn't have to sort out his problems any more. Plus I had plans for the day. Plus I do everything for the kids (well not S as she's independent now), but essentially ever since we split up, he's been gone and sees them one night a fortnight. I don't resent being the main parent, I love being with my kids and I want to do things for them, but I kinda despise him for not wanting to do more with them and I resent him putting his work ahead of them. It was part of the bad in our relationship that I often felt he preferred to work (or "work"), that he chose to be absent from family life. That doesn't seem to have changed.

 Anyway I didn't offer and left it on him to sort out, so he brought them back after work tonight. Which was a long day for him. But fuck that guy, really.

I'd like not to resent him, but I'm not sure how to let go of it all. It's been a few years though, it's surely time.