Rings of grief

“Draw a small circle and put the name of the person closest to the tragedy in the middle of that circle. Then, draw a larger concentric circle and put the name of the person closest to the center person–for adults, this is usually a spouse or partner, but may be children, parents, a colleague, or closest friend. Keep drawing larger circles around the other circles and add the layers of people–close friends, more distant friends, members of the community, etc. Here are the rules: The person in the center circle can cope any way he/she wants. The job of those in the larger circles is to listen and support. When talking to a person in a circle smaller than yours, remember that you are talking to someone closer to the tragedy. Your job is to help. You are not allowed to dump your anger, fear, or grief to people in circles smaller than yours. Express these emotions to those in your circle or larger circles. The concept is simple - comfort in, dump out." 

I was looking for this a few days ago. It's funny how these things crop up after you've been thinking about them.