Monday, May 17, 2010

Ghastly FaceBook memes, part the third

"While you SCREAM at your woman, there's a
man wishing he could whisper softly in her ear... While you HUMILIATE,
OFFEND and INSULT her, there's a man flirting with her and reminding
her how wonderful she is. While you HURT your woman, there's a man
wishing he could make love to her. While you make your women CRY
there's a man stealing smiles from her. Post this on your wall if
you're against Domestic Violence."

This one makes me feel queasy. What it's saying to women is: you can get over being abused by one man, by being validated by another. It's still feeding into the utter tripe of a woman gaining worth through her relationships with men. Surely that's part of the problem with domestic violence: that the woman's self-worth gets tied up in trying to make the relationship work at all costs.

And if it's addressed to men, does it say it's wrong to do all those things to women? No. It just posits misogynistic notions of women as passive, without agency and in need of a white knight, like objects to be owned and 'protected' from 'theft' by other men.

Most of the men I've come across who have been perpetrators of domestic violence have had as part of their behaviour, irrational sexual jealousy. So actual perpetrators may even have their unjustified beliefs validated by this crap.

I hate these things. Any decent person is against domestic violence, but this meme is not only cheap on the issue but also plays into some pretty messed-up thinking.

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