Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Invisible woman

She looks into the mirror never seeing herself, but many different faces: a cracked kaleidoscope of flesh and features, blurring, shifting, the many masks she wears.

Stripping away the words that surround her, crumple up like leaves in her fingers and blow; away, crackling, splintered; tear away tangled shrouds of expectation to reveal the woman.
Who isn’t there.

In the stillness, in the fog of her breath, she makes out a shimmering outline yet to be filled in. The faint sketchings of shape, a susurrus in the air.

Hand me the paint brush, she says. But takes it for herself.

Saturday, November 14, 2015

Life's good

Grim, I know,  but one of the most excellent parts of not living with my ex, is how the toilet stays that much cleaner. It's not such a gross job as it used to be.

If jobs around the house go undone,  I'm not annoyed,  because there's only me to do it, and I will.

Another is the joy of my money staying in the bank and being the amount I expect it to be.

Ah me.

Having a boyfriend is pretty good. Lots of fun and attention,  lots of sex. Right now I can't imagine ever wanting to live with someone again.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

They say

"midlife crisis" like it's a bad thing. 

I beg to differ. 

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

You keep talking

You keep talking and the words blur into a pulse and I cannot think and I am trying to do something else but I'm hearing you but I cannot make out what you are saying and I do not know how to answer and your voice is filling my head and a panicked heat runs through me and you keep talking and I will not lose control but the anxiety floods and I cannot shape my thoughts into words just want you to stop and you keep talking.

Sunday, November 08, 2015


I am thinking that I want to write a little every day to get back in the habit. So, 50 words a day. Sometimes here, sometimes the other place, sometimes just in Word or on my phone. It's not a big target. It's deliberately small, in fact. I'm hoping I will exceed it regularly.

Let's see how it goes, eh?