Tuesday, December 31, 2013

End of year song

 'Times they are a-changing' - Bob Dylan

Friday, December 27, 2013

Today's song

"It's a Beautiful Day" - Michael Bublé

Friday, December 20, 2013

Scooby Does

Buttercup Scout: Would you like to buy some cookies? 
Man in Suit: Have you heard the good news?
Scooby-Doo: Yeah. There's cookies.


 Off-topic, song of the day: Train - 'Drive-by'

Thursday, December 19, 2013

How inviting

I'm a curmudgeon at times. I get invited to things and instead of being grateful and excited, I think "Oh do I have to?"

Like Grandpa in 'Lost Boys':

Grandpa: Max! Are we going to have company again?
Lucy Emerson: Again? Dad you haven't had company in this house since Mom died eight years ago.
Grandpa: Right! Now we are going to have company again!

It's not that I don't like people or socialising, but I suppose I am a classic introvert. I'm like it about every invitation, every party, every event, every dinner or meet-up, however much I like the people. I tell myself "you'll enjoy it when you get there" and "you'll regret it if you miss out". While the first proves true at least 90% of the time, the latter isn't necessarily true at all. I can happily 'miss out' if I have a good book.

I've always been this way. My oldest friend recalls me spending her birthday party as a kid, in a corner reading a Snoopy annual.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Today's song

Faith No More - "A Small Victory"

Saturday, December 14, 2013


Got the missing book from the series and argh, it doesn't match! The ones at the far end that don't match aren't so bad.

Friday, December 13, 2013

Half bear half lion

The courage of women dating men according to Louis C K.

H/tip to Pharyngula.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Monday, December 09, 2013

The vase of our relationship

I think that when some of the fundamentals in our marriage were broken, we fixed things back together, until the vase is actually stronger than it was when we started.

But it's never going to have the lustre and bell-like tone of the original. It's lined with wire mesh and filled with glue. It's solid and something we built together. But criss-crossed with the scars.

Grimness overheard

"It's a fucking [n-word] in an audi - must be a fucking robber."

I gave them a dagger of a look, but don't know if they noticed, the two racist little shitheads as they walked past laughing at their own [I presume they thought it] wit.

I don't really know how these people exist. They do not compute.

It depresses me when they were younger than me as well :(.

Wednesday, December 04, 2013

Lessons I was taught

These are the lessons that men taught me, personally or through my friends, when I was a young woman.

  • That being shy is an invitation to be sexually bullied in class.
  • That walking home in school uniform is an opening to shriek sexual words from cars.
  • That saying no nicely means he keeps trying.
  • That saying no bluntly is a cause for name-calling and spite.
  • That silence is consent.
  • That fucking him willingly lessens me and makes me an object of his ridicule and disgust.
  • That not fucking him makes me a tease. And being a tease deserves to be taught a lesson.
  • That accepting a drink means I owe him my time and likely a fuck.
  • That not accepting a drink means I'm a stuck-up bitch.
  • That trying to go home without him after flirting is reason to be pushed against a signpost and punched to the ground.
  • That flirting is an invitation to climb through the window later and sexually assault me while I sleep.
  • That breaking up with him for 'no reason' (because I wasn't happy) means I need to keep explaining. And keep explaining. And keep explaining.
  • That cheating on him justifies him breaking down my door and terrorising me.
These are just some of the lessons I was taught before I was 25. 

It's not the whole of my experience by any means, and I've treated some men badly, I admit freely - but when I see people complaining about Schroedinger's rapist, enthusiastic consent and other related feminist thought, I think of these things.

Off-topic: Song of the day - "La la la" by Naughty Boy

Tuesday, December 03, 2013

Dance for me puppet

Sometimes a person is genuinely sympathetic and you can feel that. Feel warmed by it and feel supported.

Sometimes it just doesn't ring true and you get the feeling the person is longing for you to perform your emotions for them. It's not something you can pull them on, cos they're being so nicey-nice - but it's not real, it's all fake and you can sense them kind of enjoying themselves at your expense. And better yet when they can slip in an oh-so innocent barb of any kind.

But here in my safe space, let me perform an emotion for you (the person I am thinking of) - fuck you, you schadenfreude idiot! Fuck your creepy faux-maternal manner and your snide 'sympathy'.