Sunday, September 13, 2009


Facebook has myriad possibilities for social politics: it's a minefield.

I have recently been adding family, which posed questions. If I added my aunt and my cousin, would it be impolitic to fail to add my other cousin-with-whom-I-have-a-passive-aggressive-non-relationship? It's not that we are at outs, it's just that we don't interact.

And of course it puts her in the position of either seemingly rejecting my "friendly overture" (born out of not wanting to seem to dislike her or single her out by not adding her) or accepting me for the same reason that I'm trying to add her. I suspect we both would rather not be FB friends, but both probably thought not to be would be a political incident.

Ooh it's complex.

But I think FB has improved in the time I've been on there. The ability to hide "news" from applications which annoy me and not necessarily the people using them is a good un. I don't want to see the sort of slideshows some people think are amusing to send to others, for example, so it's good to be able to at a click dispose of such stuff.


Anonymous said...

Facebook, don't talk to me about Facebook....there's the school gate mum who I used to speak to, and then I asked if we could NOT do Facebook and she said fine and then blanked me forever afterwards in the playground, and now she and I have six mutual friends but I have to consider her an enemy so I have to block her, and then I hear from another real life/Facebook friend that she's all over another mutual friend's page like a rash, and I can't see that cos I've blocked her so I take her off block just to see what she's up to in a cyberstalkerish way, and then I worry that this means everything I've said on her mutual friend's walls will suddenly appear again making it obvious I'm blocking her,and all the while I wish I could just go up to her and whine "Why don't you LIKE me?" and meanwhile another Facebook/real life friend tells me that she judges with cold eyes all the school gate mums who admit to drinking and having hangovers and I think, oh god then what are they all judging ME for cos I am a freak let's face it, and WHY did I let these scary everyday frenemies into my cyber existence? Life is much simpler if Facebook works like a network of geographically distant penpals. If seeing people at the schoolgate twice a day is fraught enough then why do we have them 24/7 online as well? *(shudder)* So I feel your pain re your cousins. I had three cousins on Facebook, they kept blanking all my friendly overtures so I deleted their asses, thinking "Life's too short". So I don't think you should add relatives. And if they try and add you, explain your terms for Facebook friendship, ie not just adding people for no reason but expecting some interaction too, then when you delete them you know you've explained your terms and they knew the risks. Abster x

Mephitis said...

I much prefer having people I don't see so much on FB than very local people, unless I'm very good mates with them. Cos it's weird when they know about your life but barely know you and may not get you.

I don't particularly want to interact with my other cousin, so FB silence between us will suit me just fine. :D I couldn't see a way out of adding her without it seeming pointed, so it's the best I can hope for. :D