Friday, July 31, 2009


I have read a frightening amount of Georgette Heyer this month. My mum inherited the first editions and hardbacks so passed on her paperback set where duplicated.

Heyer's books are old friends and comforting. It's the equivalent of eating chocolates. I feel a bit sick now...

Tuesday, July 21, 2009


I've been constructing a list of ideas for ways for us to occupy ourselves over the summer holiday:
library, beach, country walks, biking, museums, cinema, local fetes & events, camping, day-trips, swimming, wood-working, experiments, play-dates, art & crafts projects and gardening. We've tickets for the theatre and hope to see the Dr Who exhibition at Lands End. There are council-provided sports activities that I'll probably send them off to as well.

In Barbie's 2006 annual, which has somehow re-emerged from ignoredsville, her ideas for the holidays are "Monday is for beauty, Tuesday is for chat, Wednesday is for spa, Thursday is for shopping, Friday is for hanging out". Why, thank you, Barbie.

My next idea for the holiday: Wednesday is for burning Barbie on a pyre.

Friday, July 17, 2009


I don't like the Halifax adverts where all the bank workers make themselves into bridges and steps for their customers, something slavish and unsettling about it.

Curiouser and curiouser

Most days I have to chivvy and chide and getting the children dressed in school uniform takes a frustratingly long time.

Strangely, on a day when we suddenly remember it's mufti, changing out of uniform and into casuals takes seconds rather than minutes.

I can't think why. School clothes must have especially tricky fastenings, which seems somewhat of a manufacturing fault.

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Schmorts Day

The children's sports day was a fun event. Well, I liked watching the races, anyway, if the social aspect left me cold.

I wanted to buy a bun or something, but couldn't find my money, and I could've sworn I'd taken a couple of pounds with me. I'd deliberately put them aside for it. I searched my bag twice and then my pockets, to no end. I found the money hours later when I thought to try my jeans pocket. D'oh. I'd looked in my jacket and hooded top pockets, but totally missed my jeans. Still on the bright side, it saved me from the meringues.

One sour note was the very loud man behind me grumping about the behaviour of one of the children and saying he'd like to smack him one. It made me wild, especially as a. that child has special needs and b. I, or anyone around me, could've been that child's parent for all he knew, the gobshite. Perhaps he didn't know about the special needs, so maybe it would just look like poor behaviour to him, but eurgh. Another one for my shit-list.

One really nice thing was the ball game where said child was part of a team, and his absolute pleasure when he caught the ball and threw it back was palpable. It really made me smile, and his teammates were amazingly patient and inclusive of him, despite the other teams having finished way before them. Warmed me cockles, it did.

Carpe jugulum

The bloke from the PostalGold tv adverts is quite frightening, I think. He is unnervingly rigid and it would not surprise me in the least if he were a vampire*. He looks as though he is staring you into submission and about to go for your neck.

*Apart from the surprise at vampires actually existing. But if they did, he'd be Lord God King Vampirus.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Know when you've been bespoken to

One of the things I like about myself, (and these things are often fairly few, depending upon my mood), is that when I get an idea into my head about a project, I don't let lack of knowledge or such frivolities dissuade me from it.

Yesterday I made a table out of the pieces of our old bed. I did one term's woodworking in senior school years ago, so I'm quite impressed with myself. It is not, I must stress, beautiful, but it is stable, sturdy and doesn't have any legs shorter than the other. I rock, but the table doesn't. Haha.

It fits perfectly in its designated space where it fulfils a dual purpose of lifting my crate of CDs to a height where I can actually look with comfort to see what I have, and also has a room underneath for the cat's litter tray, (and when we get a cat-flap, it'll accommodate his food tray instead). I may add a shelf in the middle at some point for extra storage. I'll probably drape something over it when we have visitors to conceal the cat accoutrements.

I'd been thinking about searching local charity shops for something to fit the space for a while and then suddenly the light-bulb went on about whacking together something myself.

I tell you something though, the circular saw gets my adrenalin going.

Monday, July 06, 2009

D.V and the Little Shit

T'other night husband went out drinking and afterwards went to have the obligatory kebab. Outside, as he stuffed his face with this goodly nourishment, he observed a young man of 18 or so (henceforth known as The Little Shit or TLS) call over his girlfriend of 16 or so, counting down "5, 4, 3, 2, 1, come here you stupid slut" and when she did, slap her around. This was rinse cycle repeated until her friends managed to lead her away.

TLS saw husband and snarled the cliché, "What you looking at?"
Husband responded: "You being a LS to your girlfriend."

Husband took off his belt and wrapped it around his hand. TLS seemed to have second thoughts about his inquiry. Husband suggested a course of treating the girlfriend with dignity and respect. TLS shat himself and withdrew.

Pretty much end of episode.

I only wish it would make a difference. I think it is good that husband called TLS out on his behaviour, although obviously I'm a bit anxious about him potentially getting into fights. It would've been better if he'd called the police and had TLS arrested. But anyway, no point in second guessing it all now.

It's just so depressing that this young pair are already in that cycle of domestic violence. It was their youth that got to husband most, thinking about our daughter growing up. I hope the girl gets out of the relationship before it does her much more harm.

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Make my body chunder

Last night I fumed away merrily to the programme Make My Body Younger. It's a show that gets some poor sap to have a "living autopsy" (Post-mortem! Tut, tut, BBC - we are British after all) and tells them how old bits of their body are as compared to how old they really are. So if you're a heavy drinker, your liver's age might appear to be a lot older than your actual age, if you see what I mean. I suppose it makes a change from the makeover programmes that are about conformity and conventional standards of beauty, though.

They got this young Plymouthian woman on and because of her appalling diet, smoking and drinking, her age came out as 50 when she was in her early twenties. They then set about changing her lifestyle and diet. Most of it seemed to consist of making her eat raw vegetables while filming her gag & retch and setting her the task that she must try one new fruit and vegetable a day. In the makers' defence, I suppose they did send her to a hypnotherapist in an attempt to address the phobia she seemed to have, but I still think there was way too much voyeuristic camera-time watching her choke.

If you really wanted to get fruit and veg into her diet, wouldn't it make more sense to show her ways of sneaking vegetables into her meals and making fruit smoothies or something? Tastier methods than getting her to eat a raw mushroom.

Wednesday, July 01, 2009


Just an addendum to my post of yesterday, the use of the phrase "joined-up thinking" automatically makes you wrong, wrong, wronger than a wrong thing. You're on my shit-list, (as L-7 so rightly...)


I was amused by the information that The Bill's "June Ackland" is the mother of La Roux. Or rather La Roux's lead singer, Ellie.

La Roux are problematic to me; they're very catchy and stick in your head-ish, but her voice grates on me. So I veer from irritation to enjoyment and back again as they play on the radio. Umph-argh-ah-argh-mmm-grrr.

By the by, if you've not tried Spotify, you really should. Free music streaming to your pc.