Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Friends of friends

Facebook is a funny old thing, where sometimes you learn more about particular people than you really wanted to know.

Such as when a picture of some woman's breasts came up in my feed. Who was this woman? I had no idea, and why her breasts were looking at me, I wasn't sure. It turns out that she is a "friend" of a "friend" and obviously has no security settings on her photos or has them available for "friends of friends". Considering that my "friendship" with her friend consisted of nothing more than playing the same game on-line, perhaps a rethink would be in order.

I could be anybody, and very likely am...

Reading the numerous comments on the photos (as I had access to the entire album) I now have an idea of her location and family circumstances. I could save those photos to my computer if I liked.

It's not good really, is it?

Perhaps she doesn't care what she makes public, since her profile picture shows her in her underwear, so mayhap, she would be unfazed by complete strangers seeing the pictures.

She also had a tattoo of the Playboy Bunny. And you know, I really loathe the mainstreaming of the bunny logo. Not that her choices for her body are my business but let me just rant in general, moving away from the origin of the topic. I hate the stationary, the t-shirts, all the merchandising. When did porn star become aspirational? Why?

Women are expected to objectify themselves these days, it seems. "I'm totally programmed to do it and I wanna do it too [...] death to Bill and Ted!"

I'm not completely anti-porn, but I dislike the hyper-sexualisation that is in the media and society at large. I think feeling good about yourself has been contorted into feeling/dressing sexy. If you're a woman, it's all about being able to walk about naked in front of people, if you believe Gok Wan and other lifestyle programmes. No surgery, no diets, at least - but uncomfortable hold-it-in strap-it-up undies, lashings of make-up and careful lighting & posing.

This isn't freedom and empowerment, it's conformity. This isn't being yourself, it's being someone who can "pass" for "conventionally attractive" in the right light.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've had exactly the same experience on Facebook, although this was pictures of teenage boy's nipples being kissed by girlfriend. Why was it on my "news feed"? Because my teenage cousin had decided to comment on this photo of her friend's. Her comment was something along the lines of "Haha lol fuck shit cunt ha ha lol lol lol" or somesuch pinnacle of creative writing endeavour. I told and told my Facebook "I want LESS stories about x" (where x is my teenage cousin). But yes, because my cousin had commented on that one album, the entire thing was now viewable to my horrified eyes. Privacy settings are a GOOD thing, ladies and gentlemen, a GOOD thing! Mostly what I hate about Facebook is Facebook's stupid-ass assumption that I would *want* to know about the acquaintances of my highly-sexed Sheffield cousins and their Bacchanalian barely-legal hi-jinks that would have made Caligula blush. I don't want to know! But Facebook is set up with this fatuous assumption that you know all of your "friends'" friends. I don't. I'm the centre of the wheel, I'm not part of a huge huddle. All my friends don't know each other, why should they??? Why should I care about my cousin's potty-mouthed comments about some bare-naked teenager I don't give a stuff about? Harrumph, I say.

And re your Gok Wan comment, you've got to read the Charlie Brooker book, he makes some excellent rants on this topic. I agree that Playboy is nothing to aspire towards. Abster x

ellie said...

Crikey, that is exactly why I don't do 'facebook'.
Scarey scarey mad people.