Thursday, November 15, 2007

The hazards of Heat and the hunt for Makka Pakka

I nearly bought a sleb gossip magazine today.

In order to obtain a hand-puppet of Makka Pakka (don't ask), I was in the unhappy position of being amongst magazine racks in a so-called newsagents, when I saw three separate titles claiming that they had the real story of the break-up of Ziggy and Chanelle. Two claimed that he dumped her and a third argued vociferously that she dumped him. There may have been captions about chainsaws and splattered blood... or I may have imagined that part.

For a fleeting moment I contemplated purchasing one (or more!) of said publications: after all, I needed to know what happened with their relationship. Who dumped who?!

Then I came to my senses and remembered that not only do I sincerely loathe Big Brother and all its little Frankenstein-monster/munchkin-creations and do not care about their love-lives, but I have a raging snobbery against such magazines. It probably all fits under the same umbrella indeed - anti-BB, anti-sleb, anti-fashion, antifreeze.

Although perhaps snobbery isn't the right word, because I don't look down on them wot loikes that sort of thing. Everyone's allowed their frivolities, especially me. As long as they have the decency to be just a little shame-faced about them*, just as I am a little of my frivolities (which don't usually include sleb stuff, more run to computer games and trashy (and good!) s-f).

The impulse to buy Heat or something like it came as a bit of shock to me today.

What next? Am I turning into a woman**?

*Actually being wholly unashamed and brazen works too. I'm not fussy.

**This last line is meant to be funny, since I am a woman.***

***I am only explaining this line as it amuses me to do so. ****

****I could go on and on like this, you know. *****

*****But I won't.


Anonymous said...

I have a cousin who reads Hello with her neighbour, they share them. She said "We read these even though my friend's an Oxford educated barrister and I'm a Child Psychologist!" I wanted to punch her at that point, set fire to her house, and blow up her car. But I didn't. But I was tempted.

I always read Heat or Hello if it's free and in the gym. Mindless exercise goes well with mindless gossip. I shower after the gym because I feel "dirty" - from the sweat or from the gossip mags? Who knows. Mind you, the lad's mags are worse, it's just pornography under a dodgy cover. Yuck. I try and stay away from those mags at the gym.

Mephitis said...